i am boared....

here i am ...

writing after sso many days..

boared to death...

i am in office..

nothing major happening...

i am just typing down random thoughts...

rains are still not coming...

its too much hot n humid...

multiplexes strike has ended...

and still there is no good movie..

its been ages i watched a good movie ...

budget is round the corner...

too much of work to be done....

but i am still feeling that i need a break...

atleast for 2 days...

away from here....

donno if thats possible...

need to check out means to cheer up myself ...

i guess a good cup of hot steaming coffee...

- amu

Okhay....this is just another tag i found on someone's blog...lets see if this turns out to be interesting...

Here we go.....

I am thinking about ... ummmm food....i am hungry....I woke up quite early..my breakfast gone in some remote cornor of my stomach...n i am hungry...

I said ... nothing...its been sometime that i am really quiet...long time back i complimented serena williams whos playing australian open finals against safina...poor thing safina lagging behind...

I want to ... change the way things are moving...some people..some tactics..

I wish ... i was someone who had the powers like bruce almighty..atleast for some time..

I miss ... many things...many people..many moments..aaaaannnd opportunities!!! (yeh yeh...thats true..)

I hear ... right now...the live coverage of australian open from swati's t.v...everyone's watching the match on that set as this match cannot be viewed on any other channel... hah! :-)

I wonder ... how complicated is human mind and beheviour...no one can predict anything..

I regret ... not trying to get into cnn-ibn before coming to ibnlokmat...and few more decisions...

I am ...

straightforward ...but cant hurt people deliberately..

somewhat khadoos....but very good with my close people

carefree about myself...but too much worried for my loved ones...

look to be extrovert....but somewhat introvert..

i am....to complicated..

I dance ... for myself...with my music system full on..when no one is at home..or at a party where there are selected people whom i know well....its been a loonnnngg time since i had a bang....

I sing... actually very nicely..but that again for myself...my vocal cords are in perfect tuning..

I cry ... many times for many reasons...ofcourse many times my tears roll down as i am not able to control my anger...and tears is the way i emote.. and then when it comes to actual crying.....not many people have seen me cry...but...i cry...when someone hurts me...when i hurt someone..when something goes wrong....basically...i cant say BYE...sso...whenever someones going away...i usually have tears welling up my eyes...even if a cousin coming home for a stay over and going back....

I make with my hands ... good food!! yummiee...

I write ... to express myself.. coz i lovvveee it....

I confuse ...myself and almost everyone around me...

I've been ... a pretty good girl all my life...except for some mischiefs... :p

I need ... a breaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkk...a good trekkk....talk with nature....and time away from office for myself....

I should try... bungi jumping....river rafting...mountain biking... i reaaalyy wanna do it...

I always ... try to think positively...

I never ... give up easily...

I end.. this post atlast!!

hussssssssshhhhhh !!!

that's.....a sigh of relief...

this morning i wrote a blog...about what i was feeling

i was hurt with myself..

guilt feeling deep down inside me...

i had a strong sorry feeling....

i said sorry...and now...i feel ssso better...

although i had seen in munnabhai the importance of saying sorry..

i never knew that saying sorry makes yourself feel sso better...

really..saying sorry to your dear ones...to those who love you sso much..never makes you small..

in fact...it makes your bond more stronger ..tighter..more understanding...

i was sad...i was worried...i was unhappy...i was feeling low..i was anxious

now...

i feel relieved..i feel good..i feel calm..

sso much of emotions in such a short time..

that means...

I AM HUMAN...AND MY BRAIN AND MY HEART IS AT RIGHT PLACE!!!

I feel sorry...

i feel guilty...really sorry...i have really hurt someone real close to me..

it was not intentional...but its true that i have hurt that person...

never thought that you can say something real bad out of sheer concern and love...

what do i do now..i want to say sorry...i will say that..

i cant take this tension, this feeling anymore...

i am sorry...

...................

this post does not have a title....

....just because...i dont know it....nothing is coming in mind..

which actually can tell my thoughts..

right now...i am feeling....i ....i want to be..alone....

dont want to listen...dont want to be heard..dont want be seen...dont want to see...nything

sometimes...u just feel like being with urself...with noone around...

no chaos around..just a cool breez and....and silence....

sit by a window...and...do..........nothing...

talk to urself...and listen the birds chirp...

is this seclusion...or ...meditation...

getting away from people....or...coming closer to urself...

i dont know....but at this moment...i really need this...

some time...for myself....from my own life...

can i get it??

Its a beaauuuuuuuuutiful evening.......

beautiful evening.....

i am sitting by my window.....

sun going down slowly....

skies twilight bright....

cool wind breezing by.....

nice music playing on my laptop....

priyanka chattering on my cell....

i know i am doing too many things at a time...

but after sso many days....

i am.....................relaxed...........doing actually leisure things......

njoying.....laughing....n smiling.....

life is ssoo cooll....once again...after a longgg time....

yess...

i have decided something....

and nowonwards i'll try my best to do it....

what have i decided???

wait n' watch....!!

- amu

What to Do???

Have u ever been in such situation?? that u really dont know what to do?

i mean....u have decided about something a looonng time ago...

and suddenly that thing gets cancelled....

u have imagined somethings about that thing....

what to do, when to do...how to.....

and suddenly....that thing gets cancelled....so easily....

your the one who realizes that it wont happen....

and then suddenly ....u dont know what to do...

because u never thought that it wont happen....

sso now the cancellation leaves u.....empty...

no plan, no thought.....

what do u do in such cases??

where you have good time and energy...but dont see any good thing to spend on..

what to doo???

- amu

p.s. - right now song playing on my comp player is "hum kis gully ja rahen hai....apna koi thikana nahin..." :-)