hussssssssshhhhhh !!!

that's.....a sigh of relief...

this morning i wrote a blog...about what i was feeling

i was hurt with myself..

guilt feeling deep down inside me...

i had a strong sorry feeling....

i said sorry...and now...i feel ssso better...

although i had seen in munnabhai the importance of saying sorry..

i never knew that saying sorry makes yourself feel sso better...

really..saying sorry to your dear ones...to those who love you sso much..never makes you small..

in fact...it makes your bond more stronger ..tighter..more understanding...

i was sad...i was worried...i was unhappy...i was feeling low..i was anxious

now...

i feel relieved..i feel good..i feel calm..

sso much of emotions in such a short time..

that means...

I AM HUMAN...AND MY BRAIN AND MY HEART IS AT RIGHT PLACE!!!

I feel sorry...

i feel guilty...really sorry...i have really hurt someone real close to me..

it was not intentional...but its true that i have hurt that person...

never thought that you can say something real bad out of sheer concern and love...

what do i do now..i want to say sorry...i will say that..

i cant take this tension, this feeling anymore...

i am sorry...

...................

this post does not have a title....

....just because...i dont know it....nothing is coming in mind..

which actually can tell my thoughts..

right now...i am feeling....i ....i want to be..alone....

dont want to listen...dont want to be heard..dont want be seen...dont want to see...nything

sometimes...u just feel like being with urself...with noone around...

no chaos around..just a cool breez and....and silence....

sit by a window...and...do..........nothing...

talk to urself...and listen the birds chirp...

is this seclusion...or ...meditation...

getting away from people....or...coming closer to urself...

i dont know....but at this moment...i really need this...

some time...for myself....from my own life...

can i get it??

Its a beaauuuuuuuuutiful evening.......

beautiful evening.....

i am sitting by my window.....

sun going down slowly....

skies twilight bright....

cool wind breezing by.....

nice music playing on my laptop....

priyanka chattering on my cell....

i know i am doing too many things at a time...

but after sso many days....

i am.....................relaxed...........doing actually leisure things......

njoying.....laughing....n smiling.....

life is ssoo cooll....once again...after a longgg time....

yess...

i have decided something....

and nowonwards i'll try my best to do it....

what have i decided???

wait n' watch....!!

- amu

What to Do???

Have u ever been in such situation?? that u really dont know what to do?

i mean....u have decided about something a looonng time ago...

and suddenly that thing gets cancelled....

u have imagined somethings about that thing....

what to do, when to do...how to.....

and suddenly....that thing gets cancelled....so easily....

your the one who realizes that it wont happen....

and then suddenly ....u dont know what to do...

because u never thought that it wont happen....

sso now the cancellation leaves u.....empty...

no plan, no thought.....

what do u do in such cases??

where you have good time and energy...but dont see any good thing to spend on..

what to doo???

- amu

p.s. - right now song playing on my comp player is "hum kis gully ja rahen hai....apna koi thikana nahin..." :-)

DAYS OF OUR LIVES....

Some days are by default happy...

on those days u realy dont know the reason...

but u r happy...and excited....just for nothing...

and some days are ...boaring...

on these days...u have a lot of work....

but still u r boared....

u feel like talking a think rug...hiding under it..and snoooozing....

an afternoon nap is what u keep looking for on such afternoons....

afternoons like....today!!!

sitting in office...u imagine the rain outside....

the greenery out there....which u cant enjoy...

only thing remains is some dead story in front of u....

on afternoons like this....only one thing should be done...

ditch the office...throw ur bag on ur shoulders...and go out...soak in rain....

the drenching water brings some strange refreshments....

one cutting chai...and one hot spicy bhutta.....a close friend to share...what else is life???

amu

p.s. - "Days of our lives" was the serial in which JOE of F.R.I.E.N.D.S starred... :-)

After a loooooonnng time..!!!

its sso...weird...i m writing on this blog after ssso long!!
eventually the first post of 2008 after first 5 months are gone....
life has changed so much in between...
i have changed my job...and entered a new medium...a new venture...
met new people...new experiances...some good some bad...
some people are new but still so ....known....as if they were alwyas there..
and some ...known...but yet....totally strange....
life is in fast tracks....moving....tiring....
i am learing new things....
trying out some experiments...
meeting new people....
trying to understand people...
what they mean when they say somethings...
and more importantly...what they mean but dont say....
am i writing too abstract??? may be.....
but still.....
life was without tension few months back...
now its full of tensions...
earlier it was more of a routine....
now everything is happening....
earlier it was a relaxed lifestyle...
now i am always on my toes....
life sometime before had much time for loved ones....
now....not even for myself....
so what have i gained???
Money?
Satisfaction?
career achievement?
or....
relations...
people...
promptness...
more clarity of my thoughts and views...
dont know.....
but whatever happens happens for good...
lets see what happens ahead....
akhir...
picture abhi baaki hai....
lets hope i can get to write more and more....i'll try..

cya
amu